Punctuation is Powerful

Geek

An English professor wrote the words "A woman without her man is nothing" on the chalkboard and asked his students to punctuate it correctly. 







All of the males in the class wrote:
A Woman, without her man, is nothing.

All the females in the class wrote:
A Woman: Without her, man is nothing.


Punctuation is powerful.




A bunch of thanks to this blogger, and friend, for sharing this very interesting article: 
Guitardedkid on Multiply

 

 

A Short Anthology: Quotes about Beauty

Kristen Bell

 I decided to write something about this subject because I was incredibly revolted by something that has happened on the television recently. It made me ask myself: What is the true basis of beauty?Is it really just skin deep? Has intellect, wit and refinement lost relevance? Just consider this entire post as my way and form of ranting about what happened.




People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within."
--- Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
A friend of mine asked me once: "Kung papipiliin ka, isang taong sobrang gwapo pero walang alam, o hindi gwapo pero matalino at masaya kausap?" If I was asked that question when I was thirteen years old wherein my idea of love was still filled with castles in the sky and happy-ever-afters, I would’ve chosen the first one. But now that I’m more mature and have seen more of this unsympathetic world, the latter would not only be the most sagacious but also the most evident choice. Physical attraction is crucial, yes—but only in the beginning, in my opinion. After all, you cannot be with somebody forever just because he or she has an attractive physique, right? It’s not like you’re just going to perpetually stare at each other. “Their true beauty is revealed only if there is light from within”. In short, there has to be substance. We’re human beings, not mannequins.




Against Him those women sin who torment their skin with potions, stain their cheeks with rouge and extend the line of their eyes with black coloring. Doubtless they are dissatisfied with God's plastic skill. In their own persons they convict and censure the Artificer of all things.
--- Tertullian
This quote is for those who defile themselves through the use of gratuitous make-up. Whenever I see people in school wearing eye shadows (occasionally even those glittered ones), tomato cheeks (their blush-ons are so thick you can almost see the little pink particles) and whatnot—I see people who’re not comfortable with their own skins. Don’t get me wrong, make-up isn’t bad. However, I strongly believe that Less is More. Natural beauty is priceless. Besides, they’re in school for heaven’s sake! And yet they look as if they’re about to attend prom or go clubbing. Geez.



To end this short entry, I’ll share one of the most, in essence, beautiful quotes I’ve ever stumbled upon about Real Beauty, by Marie Stopes:


You can take no credit for beauty at sixteen. But if you are beautiful at sixty, it will be your soul's own doing.

 

The Poseurs' Lounge

Kristen Bell 2

Try this: Go to a mall, sit down in Starbucks or somewhere in the food court. For a while, just for a short while, go people-watching. Observe the people around you. Watch as the society unfurls around you. You’ll see hordes of diverse people, of all ages, and of all conceivable characters. You’ll see multitude students from different universities and colleges, families, societal cliques, professionals, et al—the list is endless. But then again, I’m quite sure that during that short sum of time you conferred to scrutinize the individuals around you, you were able to spot people who’re incarcerated by vogues, brands, subcultures, and whatnot. Yes, they are everywhere: People whose dignities are enslaved by tacit norms of acceptance; People who’re otherwise known as posers. And like everything else, even poseurs have classifications. Here are some of the most hyped poseur categories almost everybody is on familiar terms with:



FIRST STOP : EMWHORES and RAKERS

You’ll either see them in big clusters walking around, carrying auras that seemed to bawl how proud they are of their conceited selves, or alone, demonstrating unto the humankind how forlorn and dejected they are. Their usual get-up are as follows: skinny jeans (usually, but not limited to, color black), hoodies, slogan shirts, chains around their waists (for that edgy touch), lots and lotsa accessories (you name it: cuffs, beads, leather strips, hair scrunchies, silvers, spikes, et cetera), chucks—better if customized and personalized (meaning: modification via defacement and despoliation), the classic daunting eyeliner, gargantuan headsets around their necks, the dramatic bangs and, of course, the posture. Too bad they lack some specific stuff to complete their look: (a) Knowledge about the subculture/genre of music they decided to make a façade out of; and (b) a nametag around their necks screaming the words: EMO or ROCKER. Now that would be brilliant. No, seriously, they give rock music and people who have actual emotional disorders bad reputations.


SECOND STOP : SOCIAL CLIMBERS

Ahh yes, social climbers: Probably one of the oldest poseur categories on the face of this earth. These people, usually, but not limited to, females, are those who try so bloody hard to fit in with the “it” crowd that they actually go to unbelievable, sometimes almost astounding, extents of mendacity and pretense just to be well-received by the elites. Believe it or not, Social climbers are everywhere: in schools, offices, malls, bars, parties, even within close circle of friends. Want a simple paradigm? Okay, so your class has this out-of-town educational trip—and of course, you’ll have a stop over. Then, you and your friends decide to grab some frappucinos at Starbucks, and then this classmate of yours joins in. This classmate of yours, even though she doesn’t have much money, still buys herself a tall frappe. Now ask yourselves: Why did she do that? The answer is so effing obvious that I don’t even think it is needed for me to give an explanation. The same goes for expensive clothing, gadgets, and the likes. In my opinion, it’s okay to go deluxe as long as you can effortlessly afford it. Besides, it’s better to be accepted for who and what you are rather than for what you have and how high your parents’ salaries are.


THIRD STOP : KNOW-IT-ALLS

Know-it-alls: the worst kind of poseurs amongst all, in my opinion. These are the kind of people who disgust me the most. They pretend to know so many things. Their favorite hobby is butting-in on other people’s discussions and reciting (well-rehearsed) bits of information about the current topic, displaying their almighty, almost deafening, ignominious wanna-be-Einstein egos, as if they’re the best amongst everybody. Their second beloved leisure pursuit is pretending to have seen this or to have read that—but once you ask them about this and that, they’ll only say “Oh, I already forgot about it.” Comical isn’t it? They’re almost always caught within their own traps. I yearn for their deliverance.




FOURTH STOP : PLASTICS

Let’s face it, once in a while, all of us acquiesce to being lowly plastics. Deny that fact and you are a hypocrite. The brutal truth: we can’t please everybody. And in order to avoid conflict, it is inevitable for us to hide parts of the raw truth. So I suppose that all of us, in some way, are all poseurs to a certain degree. However, like all else, this category (Plastics) has intensities too. These sorts of poseurs are usually found close to us: within our circle of friends. Yes, this is where backstabbers come in. Whenever you’re with them, all they can give you are pure compliments and ebullient respectsbut once you turn your backthe evil horns come out. This is why no matter how close you are to someone, even if you’ve known that person for years—never ever give him/her your trust 100%. Have reservations—not because you don’t believe in friendship—but simply for self-preservation purposes. Remember, your best friend is the worst enemy you can possibly ever have. Do trust, but like they say: Prevention is better than cure. Only God really knows the genuineness of people.





The list doesn’t end here. I’m just way too lazy to sketch more of those little caricatures. So for now, I ask you to be contented with what you’ve seen and read. Lassitude is a very commanding thing, I’m afraid.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Geek










KINDERGARTEN TEACHER:

To get to the other side.


PLATO:

For the greater good.


ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross roads. To actualize its potential.


KARL MARX:

It was a historical inevitability.


CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK:
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.


SADDAM HUSSEIN:

This was an unprovoked act of rebellion. We were
justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.


JOHN LENNON:

Imagine there is no chicken, it's easy if you try...


HIPPOCRATES:

Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.


NEIL ARMSTRONG:

That's one small crossing for a chicken, one giant
leap for chicken-kind.


GOETHE:

Es irrt das Huhn, solang es die Straße übergeht.


HAMLET:

To cross, or not to cross, that is the question: - Whether
'tis nobler in the mind, to suffer; The slings and arrows of
outrageous side; Or to take arms against a road of troubles,


DAVID COPPERFIELD:
I made the chicken disappear and reappear on the
other side.


ISAAC NEWTON:

Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest. Chickens in
motion tend to cross the road.


KARL POPPER:
To disprove the hypothesis that chickens could not cross
roads.


DARTH VADER:

To get to the Dark Side.


OPRAH WINFREY:

He was reacting to a repressed traumatic caponisation
in his childhood which he will now share with us in detail.


ARTHUR, KING OF BRITONS:
To seek the Holy Grail.


IMMANUEL KANT:

The chicken, being an autonomous being, chose to cross
the road of his own free will.


OBI-WAN KENOBI:

Because the force was with it.


YODA:

Wants to cross the chicken because


LUDWIG VON BEETHOVEN:

What? Speak up.


JOHN LOCKE:

Because he was exercising his natural right to liberty.


GREGOR MENDEL:

To get various strains of roads.


NIETZSCHE:

Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road
gazes also across you.


GEORGE ORWELL:

Because the government had fooled him into thinking that
he was crossing the road of his own free will, when he was really only
serving their interests.


THE POPE:

That is only for God to know


RASTAFARIAN
:
There were grass on the other side mon.


SAPPHO:

Due to the loveliness of the hen on the other side, more fair
than all of Hellas' fine armies.


JEAN PAUL SARTRE:

In order to act in good faith and be true to itself,
the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.


OJ SIMPSON:

You'd run too, if you had just killed two people and tried
to frame an inoccent man


BF SKINNER:

The external influences which had pervaded its sensorium
from birth caused it to develop in such a fashion that it would be
driven to cross roads, even while believing these actions to be of its
own free will.


STALIN:

I don't care. Catch it. I need its eggs to make my omelette.


MAE WEST

I invited it to come up and see me sometime.


DR. MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.:

I envision a world where all chickens
will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.


LUDWIG WITTGENSTEIN:

The possibility of "crossing" was encoded into
the objects "chicken" and "road," and circumstances came into being
which caused the actualization of this potential occurrence.


FOX MULDER:

You saw it cross the road with your own eyes.
How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?


DANA SCULLY:

It was a simply bio-mechanical reflex that is commonly found in chickens


ZENO:

To prove it could never reach the other side.


RICHARD NIXON:

The chicken did not cross the road.
I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.


RENE DESCARTES:

It had sufficient reason to believe it was dreaming anyway.


CHARLES DICKENS
:
Tis a far, far better road than chicken has e'er crossed before.


MACHIAVELLI:

The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why?
The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.


SIGMUND FREUD:

The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken
crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.


SHERLOCK HOLMES:

It was running to catch the Edinburgh train at
Victoria Station at 3:15, my dear Watson. Observe the patina of dust
on the dropped feathers, bespeaking long hours in a library, surely
reading about Scotland. Remark the Baker Street boys' report that it
was humming "Bonnie Lassie" while waiting to cross. Note the ticket
stub marked Edinburgh. Of course, we both know the only train to
Edinburgh leaves at 3:15 from Victoria...


DAVID HUME:

Out of custom and habit.


CARL JUNG:

The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt
necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at this historical
juncture, and therefore synchronicitously brought such occurrences
into being.


DR. SEUSS:

Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed,
I've not been told!


BARBARA WALTERS:

Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be
listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming
story of how it overcame a serious case of molting and went on to
accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.


VOLTAIRE:
I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend
to the death its right to do it.


JACK NICHOLSON:

'Cause it (Bleep!) wanted to. That's the (Bleep!) reason.


TS ELIOT:

Weialala leia / Wallala leialala.


LEDA:

Are you sure it wasn't Zeus dressed as a chicken? He's
into that kind of thing, you know.


JOHN MILTON:

To justify the ways of God to men.


THE SPHINX:

You tell me.


JULIUS CAESAR:

To come, to see, to conquer. It came, it saw, it conquered.


JACQUES DERRIDA:

What is the *difference* ? The chicken was merely
deferring from one side of the road to other. And how do we get the
idea of the chicken in the first place? Does it exist outside of language?


OLIVER STONE:

The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the
road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time,
whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"


CHARLES DARWIN:

Chickens, over great periods of time, have been
naturally selected and evolved over time in such a way that they are
now genetically endowed with the capabilities required to cross roads.


ALBERT EINSTEIN:

Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road
moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.


BUDDHA:

Asking


EPICURUS:

For fun.


RALPH WALDO EMERSON:

The chicken did not cross the road. It
transcended it.


ERNEST HEMINGWAY:

To die. In the rain.


ROBERT FROST:
To cross the road less traveled by.


BILL CLINTON :

I did not, repeat, did not have sexual relations with the chicken.


JOSE RIZAL:

It crossed the road so that it sees the dawning of light in our Motherland.


MIRIAM DEFENSOR-SANTIAGO :

Aha! I know it! That chicken crossed the
road to provoke me. I move to permanently hold in contempt that
chicken. I request for a restraining order, your honor, so that the chicken would not be able
to cross the road again!


RAMON REVILLA:

I concur, your honor. You see, may timbangan ako ng
manok sa bahay. Doon ko nga nalaman na 96 grams ang 1000 na bills ng
1000 pesos to make 1 million pesos. See 96 grams? 96 grams talaga!
Malapit yun sa isang kilo...eh sa 96 grams talaga eh...Pero huwag nyo
akong tanungin kung ilang kilo ang manok na nagcross ng road.


BAYANI AGBAYANI:

Para mag-ocho-ocho!


KRIS AQUINO:

It may be many things, but it's still a chicken.


MELANIE MARQUEZ:

Don't judge the chicken 'coz it is not a book.


PARIS HILTON:

Because it was so hot.

Tags:

iGod

Procastinators

On this earth we’re situated on, we humans are nothing more but inhabitants, though most of us have a propensity to presuppose that they know all and that almost everything can be elucidated by arithmetic and scientific means. When in fact, we know less than one percent of what is both around us and within us. One of our irrevocable flaws is that we’re too conceited and egocentric to accept that mysteries and miracles do exist. But until the inevitable reunion with God, wherein all of our queries shall be answered and our existence realized, let’s have some fun. Chat with iGod. But I must warn you, sense of humor is strongly needed to be able to enjoy this site.

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a breath of fresh air

art thieves







I've decided to drop the security level of my journal from
FRIENDS ONLY to SEMI-FRIENDS ONLY.


 

 
 

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